This journal will be deleted, as I realise the words that I fight to say are irrelevant.
The stories in my head I could never relate.
The songs that I hear I cannot write.
The journey I make is mine and mine alone.
The photographs I take are lacking in colour, contrast and continuity.
I am brain damaged and cannot communicate my thoughts let alone understand the thoughts of others in writing or speech.
I have tried and failed to overcome the massive destruction that was done to me by a drunk driver and corrupt police officers that offered help to their friend rather than caring for the victim of his crime.
I have so much hate inside me it is destroying me.
Every siren I hear drives yet another nail into my coffin, as it revives the hatred I have for the liars that have taken everything from me including my self-respect.
No don’t go to sleep after reading this unless you are prepared to have a nightmare and find that I am riding the pale horse that threatens your compliance with a corrupt system.
This is the dawn of a new day.
This is no time to fall asleep.
So I will continue on Notes on the Scale that will never try to be anything more than it is.
A lifeline from me to you if you should ever find yourself drowning.
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Liz, there will be no compliance from me for a corrupt system. It is a full time effort it seems just to convince people that there is corruption, media washing, political lies and silent big money control of people's lives.
ReplyDeleteYou do communicate very well.
DB
DB
Oh please don't give up.
ReplyDeleteYour photography is outstanding!!!!
Liz, you're in no condition to fight something like corruption or bias. Before you approach that, it is imperative that you first cure yourself of what ails you; be it the recurring nature of migraines or the present hauntings of a tragic past. Then, when you are well again (I'm sure you will be, but likely not in the manner you would have first assumed) I hope that you approach matters like police corruption with the passion you've attained from experience.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to you "some years ago" never should have happened; it's terrible to know that it did. But you shouldn't try to stop it from happening again when you're in this state of being--physically, mentally, and emotionally. Try to understand what happened on that day and you will be healed emotionally. Adapt to your mental state of disarray and you'll find yourself healed mentally. Then learn to respect and love yourself for who you are now and be healed physically.
Then, and only then, will you effectively fight the corruption that allowed this accident to happen in the first place. And you will do just that in fantastic ways, I'm sure.
P.S. I'll be keeping an eye on your photographs. Whether you believe it or not, many of them do have vibrant color, contrast, and continuity.
I am afraid I cannot 'cure myself' of the brain damage that was done to me. Although I have spent years trying to learn to read again and understand the spoken word.
ReplyDeleteI have eventually understood what was done to me by not only a drunk driver but his 'police friends' that greeted him by his christian (?!) name. Yes it took some time for the memories to surface. Now I know. I was not only a victim of a drunk driver but of a corrupt police response to a major accident.
I cannot respect myself as I am now.
I have nothing left to respect.
All that I fought to be has been taken from me. I wish I had died in that accident it would have been a blessing.